Its funny how easy it is write in your christian blog on the “good days”.  When you and the Holy Spirit are walking in the same step and line of thinking.  The same goes for writing in my prayer journal.  I dont want to have to go back someday and read about my ugliness and self hatred that day.  Isn’t that what we do?  At least I do.   I’m afraid of forcing a holy and wonderful God to look at this mess.  What would he say?  The truth is, Jesus sees past my brokenness.  Do I feel that way right now?  No.  Right now I feel like he is more than ready to give up on me, as if he’s impatient that my healing should take this long.  I also feel like I could gladly quit school right now and never look back.  What I am learning is not to trust my “feelings” in times like these and just wait on the Lord.  What I know is that he’s faithful and that he loves me and that is enough.

Psalm 40:1

“I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.”